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  • Writer's pictureMistrix Violeta Félix

Anti-Colonial Domination

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Perhaps seeing the term "anti-colonial" may inspire some intimidation. Yet again, doesn't the term "Domination" inspire the same reaction in others? Both concepts, when approached at first glance from an untrained eye, can be received with preconceived notions and even fear. However, once studied and understood, one sees that there's nothing to be afraid of.

I find that the politics of BDSM and Anti-Colonialism are very similar. Both believe in the ideas of self-governance, consent, and reinventing the ideas of what are "acceptable" and "savage" practices. For example, in traditional vanilla relationships, as we are taught in Western society, there are a lot of expectations imposed by long standing societal practices. If a man pays for dinner, the woman owes him sex. If two people are in a monogamous relationship, they are supposed to owe each other their complete body and mind, promising undying faithfulness until the end of days. There is a sense of ownership and entitlement that leads into the unsatisfying and toxic relationships that we find ourselves with today. This is the same with colonialism: it is not negotiated, it is not discussed, it is declared because one wishes to possess the other and that's the end of it. However, through BDSM the expectations are always discussed beforehand. Your surrender is not due to Me taking it away from you with brutal force and conquest, it is because you see something beautiful and exciting in Me, and you choose to give yourself to Me. I kindly accept, discuss in detail what are your wants and limits, and I respect your sovereignty as an individual.

I also find empowerment and healing through the act of Dominance. As a Puerto Rican woman who has seen firsthand the effects of colonialism in My country and how Our power has been systematically taken from Our hands, there is strength in having My pets submit to Me and listen attentively to what I have to say. I see their submission as a form of reparations, or as a way for unlearning the repressive sexuality that has been imposed in our culture. I see how they use My words to become better people through My guidance, and I love to help cultivate the growth of others and seeing them flourish. I accept their submission and respect it. I do not respect the coward or the hypocrite, I respect those that are brave enough to embrace their desires. In submitting to Me, you are letting go of any preconceived notions of what is "perverted" or "correct". You are taking a step in unlearning "acceptable" sexuality, because it is all a farce. Acceptable according to who? What we are taught about erotism is sourced in the teachings of Christian settlers, who pillaged through Africa, Asia, and the Americas with Bible and sword. They negated the sacred elements of sexuality, deemed the indigenous people savages and heretics because they bared their bodies, accepted homosexuality and recognized different genders. All in all, what has been imposed on us regarding sex and desire is, in simple terms, based in suffering. I congratulate you for getting this far. What is a toxic aspect of sexuality that you have made an effort to unlearn? Has BDSM helped guide you through trauma? If so, how? Feel free to share, there is no judgement from My part.




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