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  • Mistrix Violeta Félix

Rise Above The Rest: How To Go From an OK Devotee To An Excellent Devotee

Updated: Jul 9, 2021

Spending time with a Dominatrix is definitely an exciting and even life-changing experience, therefore making sure that one makes a good first impression is an imperative first step into this journey. Here are some pointers on what to do, how to stand out, and what to completely avoid.

The Good:

  • Proper writing: You are not just speaking to a Lady, but a Professional Dominatrix. The first sign of respect is to be mindful of how you write, so make sure to write in complete sentences with proper spelling and punctuation when you are communicating with Me.

  • Openness: You are detailed and honest with what you like, what's outside of your limits, any health problems, or if you've never seen a Dominatrix before. It's okay to express nervousness, we were all first-timers once!

  • Manners: Don't leave your "please" and "thank you's" at home. Ask politely before talking about something graphic with Me. Open the door for Me. Pull out the chair for Me. Chivalry will take you far.

  • Discretion: Funnily enough, a lot of devotees ask this of Me, but there's a good number of others that do not consider My desire for discretion! When entering/leaving the dungeon space, don't make it obvious for everybody else that you're going to see a Dominatrix. No showing up in your collar, no bowing at the doorstep, no "thank you, Mistrix", "that was great", or anything more than a "Bye, see you later!". There are times that these spaces may be located in places where there are neighbors closeby, and they don't need to know what we're up to. Speaking of neighbors, if you encounter one, don't engage with them beyond a friendly "hello"!

The Excellent:

  • Creativity: I love those that are unafraid and adventurous with their fantasies. Nothing's too weird for Me. I especially appreciate a devotee that teaches Me something new, whether that be a skill or insight into D/s philosophy. The best teachers on Domination can be the submissives themselves.

  • A little detail: Details do not have to be designer clothes or expensive equipment. That's why they're called details. A surefire way to go from "ok" to "wonderful" is to provide a thoughtful little gift before O/our first meeting. The best ones are books or vinyl records, My two favorite things in the world! Also, the detail that you choose is a fun way to tell Me a bit about you... Are you a cheeky intellectual with Discipline and Punish? A little bit of a dark romantic with an Anna Akhmatova poetry collection? An eccentric dreamer with a selection of works by Antonin Artaud? It's a great conversation starter!

  • A kind message afterward: Nothing fills My heart up more than a follow-up message after a wonderful session! ❤❤❤

  • Have fun with it: Life is too long to take everything so seriously! As you get to know Me, you will see that I am actually a quite humorous and light-hearted person. A person that can allow themselves to loosen up and laugh a little with Me is more likely to create a closer bond with Me.

  • Above and beyond: A tip to show that you really enjoyed a session is a great form of showing appreciation!

  • Actual, true submission: Many say that they are submissive, but it begins and ends between the dungeon walls. A true submissive that is willing to listen, grow, and understand the world through different eyes with My guidance quickly moves up to the top of My list. My tasks are not easy, and some of them may not be "sexy", but they will make you see new things about the world and about yourself. I am a person of knowledge and culture, and I expect My submissives to rise up to that standard, as well as to be completely open and vulnerable to My desires.

The Worst:

  • Try to bypass screening: Every relationship begins with trust, especially a Dominant/submissive one. If you cannot trust Me, I cannot trust you. Screening is an imperative and necessary process in order for Me to assess that you are a safe person to interact with, so when you write in a fake phone number or provide a fake reference, it says to Me that you do not care about My safety and wellbeing. Want to leave a terrible first impression? This is the way to do it. Note: if this is your first time, I very much rather that you disclose that instead of lying.

  • Be vague: I know writing to a Dominatrix can be an exciting and/or nerve-wracking experience, but you're a big kid now. Use your words. Write complete sentences. "Anything you want" is not an answer. "Anything goes" is not an answer. And by God, the worst one: "I want to be dominated". You don't say? For what other reason could you possibly be reaching out to a Dominatrix? For those that have difficulty with words: think about the specific acts that occur in your fantasies. Was She strict, sensual, sadistic? Was she flogging you, putting you in bondage, or verbally humiliating you (or all three)? Think about those specific activities, write them in, and voilà!

  • No limits: Yes, you do have limits! Think about it very hard, and write them down! Limits don't make you weaker or any less of a submissive. It's an important part of taking care of your mental and physical wellbeing. It also helps Me because I can play with you knowing that you're happy and okay!

  • Ask for illegal activities: Asking for illegal activities tells Me that you're either a cop or don't think things through. You put Me as well as yourself at risk.

  • Write conspicuous notes on payment apps: DO NOT do that. Ever. At all. Never. That can lead to Me getting banned from the app. As time goes on it gets harder and harder for sex workers to have access to payment processing apps, so when you do a careless move like that, you jeopardize My income. When writing a note on the payment app, just leave a single emoji. You don't need anything more. And by God, do not leave the note on "public"!! Don't out Me to My acquaintances as well as to your family and friends! Make sure that you mark your transactions as "private".

Whether you are about to apply for a session or are already a recurring devotee, these guidelines will definitely help you go far with Me.

See you soon,

-Mx. Violeta

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